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Sunday, May 29, 2005

الانسحابات اللبنانية

Welcome to internationally-"supervised" "democracy"... in Lebanon. I shall call it الانسحابات اللبنانية or the Lebanese... withdrawals. The Tashnags (having more than 80% of popular support among Armenians) have boycotted the elections, and so has war criminal and hypocrite Michel Aoun. Reason: Both oppose selections by the Hariri circus (Sa'adeddine being the leading clown). Voter turnout has been very poor all day long, with predominantly "Sunni areas" registering higher percentages (maximum being 44% at Mazra'a), while "Christian areas" registered 17% at most, with some areas like Mdawar having as low as 4% turnout. And of course, Sa'adeddine, who has absolutely no ability whatsoever to understand what political talk is all about, claims the elections are "very fair" and "very democratic because there are international monitors". This was in an interview with a BBC correspondent. Sa'adeddine, the spoiled son of Rafik Hariri who had no clue about politics suddenly jumped onto the stage and is now being called "The Opposition Leader". And I am laughing out loud at this so-called "opposition". Allow me to say, ha-ha-ha-ha! Democracy - the Hariri / Saudi / U.S way! I guess the good news is, "Israel" is no more "the Middle East's ONLY democracy". Congratulations, Lebanon, on the 28% voter turnout in Beirut! You may now be called "the Middle East's second democracy".

And allow me to say one more time: Gibran Tuweini makes me want to throw up.
Hey, I voted too! I voted that rollerblading was much more productive than casting a ballot.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Finally in Lebanon

Sorry for not posting anything these past 2 days. I was recovering from jetlag yesterday and today. But I arrived at BEIRUT INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT in one piece, so that's good. :P I have some pics, but I took them while in the car and the window wasn't exactly clean. I will take more pics soon, upload them, and post a link to the gallery.

Did I say MEA (Middle East Airlines) sucks big time? My flight was with Air France, but my connection flight to Beirut was operated by the MEA. Oh, and kudos to the airport personnel (passport checking) at BEIRUT INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, they really did their jobs quickly and spared newly arrived passengers (at least me!) some major pain in the arse that we are routinely honoured with when traveling to the States. This has been my best flight ever, even though I literally had to run to my gate at Charles de Gaulle to reach my flight in time...

What can I say... Lebanon is.. unchanged. Same old, same old. Beautiful as ever, the gap between the rich and the poor even bigger, though. On the trip from the airport, passing by the refugee camps was a grim reminder of the injustice that the majority of Lebanese and "aliens" live through, and the vain luxuries that the minority of rich, spoiled Lebanese blindly and stupidly enjoy. I had the honour to see it all in person. I am very dismayed at what I'm seeing in Lebanon, and even though I'm glad I'm back, every minute since my landing has been painful. It's sad, I tell you. Very sad. But today for the first time in my life, I was in West Beirut (never mind the jetlag! :P ) on a Friday, and I saw Muslim Lebanese going to prayers, and heard the verses (? or is that call to prayer?) from the Qur'an being recited from the top of the mosques. It was amazing to tell you the truth. I mean, I HAVE heard it before in Lebanon, but I've never done so in West Beirut, never done so without having my mom tell me that I'm not supposed to go to West Beirut because there are "too many Muslims there" (I guess it's OK when there are "too many Christians"...). I passed by the site of Hariri's assassination. I also went to my childhood school in East Beirut, saw my elementary teachers there (who amazingly did remember me - I was either too quiet or too quarrelsome), went to AUB to check on my admission stats (but with no luck, since they were on lunch break). It was a good day. Given that I woke up at 3 am anyway. Hah. My hours are pretty screwed at the moment, but I didn't (and don't) care one bit about that. I was very restless; I HAD to get out and do something.

Surprisingly, I didn't feel much when I landed at Beirut Int'l Airport. I was thinking I might get really upset (for many a reason), but I didn't feel anything. Maybe I just didn't have the time to think about it. After all, I had too many luggages to think about. :)

Walla, I'm happy, but not as happy as I thought I'd be. And I'm upset, but not as upset as I thought I'd be - well, at least not about the things I thought I'd be upset about.

I am staying at our condo at the moment. I finally got my hands on my dad's camera - actually, make that plural - he also has a USSR-make Zenith camera (my mom bought it for him when she was in Moscow). ;) I also got my hands on 2 ancient books/scripts. One is more than 1000 years old. It belongs to my family - or it came into my family's possession at some point in time in the past 200 years. It's amazing I tell you. Simply amazing. The other one is something like 400 years old. I really don't know anything about how to maintain them, so I might give them to a museum for free or sell it (if it brings in a considerable sum - although I'm very much reluctant to sell items that belong to my family, especially over the course of so many years). I HAVE taken photos of those. I had once posted about one of the books on my other online journal. One is a prayer book by Krikor Naregatsi. It's rather big and heavy, with black leather cover, which has round circles on it. Those circles have a story to them. They were once filled with gold. You see, those books survived the Armenian Genocide. But the gold was taken out by the mercenaries who perpetrated the massacres.

The other book (the 1000-year-old one) was kept in a HONEY JAR because whatever the mercenaries could lay their hand on they would destroy or steal immediately. In fact, some PEOPLE survived that way too.

Will update soon. Did I say that dial-up here simply costs too much (and wireless of course has to be "for those who can afford it" i.e. the rich, because they want to feel... unique. After all, that's the only thing that gives meaning to their otherwise miserable lives and ideologies - if they have any. "Israelis" ring a bell?)?!?!? Well, the phone line does, not the ISP.

And yes, I have decided against voting on Sunday.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Leaving in an hour

I'm leaving for Lester B. Pearson Int'l Airport in an hour's time. I will be arriving at BEIRUT INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT at 3:45 pm (GMT +2) on Thursday. Anyone who wants to welcome me to Beirut after 4 years' absence, feel free to do so at BIA. I will be the geeky guy with a laptop. OK, no eyeglasses YET, but I'm working on it.


Monday, May 23, 2005

Hezballah is the only militia in Lebanon. Yup. Look at 'em, they're just... scouts for Christ's sake! One person killed in "clashes" between Phalange and SSNP. I guess this is the "free" Lebanon Bush & co. were dreaming of - where Phalangist fascists can go around killing people without being punished. Posted by Hello

Saturday, May 21, 2005


OK, just a quick update - I haven't been posting lately because I was getting ready for my flight (actually, more like a complete move) to Lebanon. To add to that, I am having a hard time with an injury and can't walk at the moment (hopefully nothing permanent). I will try to update before I leave for Lebanon.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Loyalty check

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American Jews in Jerusalem demand that traitor Jonathan Pollard be "freed". Those same people did not demonstrate when Mordechai Vanunu was imprisoned. So where exactly is "American Jews' " loyalty?

And of course, USA should forget about its own interests and follow those of its ally enemy. Yup. And surely USA "owes" "Israel" millions of dollars in "development aid" for the Negev and the Galilee. USA also "owes" "Israel" a cover-up on the USS Liberty terrorist case. After all, "Israel" is supposed to be the one that matters (center of the world?). Even for USA.

Friday, May 13, 2005

A trumped up card

There is an article on the Jewish so-called refugees from Arab countries. It's worth checking it out. Here's why:

"In Iraq, Jews owned 100,000 square kilometers of land. Israel itself is only 20,000 square kilometers. How much land could the Palestinians have left behind?"

No kidding???? 100,000 sq km??! Does the interviewee know how much of Iraq that is? 23%. So what "professor" Heskel Haddad is saying is that 150,000 Jews (source: Jewish Virtual Library), that's 3% of the population of Iraq in 1948, owned 23% of the country?

Now let's make some simple calculations. Let's take a hypothetical example: if Jews comprised 66% of the population (which is the % of Palestinians living in Palestine in 1947) and assuming that the same 3%:23% ratio is to be maintained, then the Jews would have owned... 506% of Iraq. Of course, we also have to keep in mind that if the Jewish population were as high as 66% the property-ownership rate might have dropped, but even if the numbers are lowered, Jews would still have ownership of pretty much the entire country. The numbers are therefore impossible. Yes many Iraqi Jews had succcessful businesses, but they were nowhere close to being, all of them, millionaires, which is what is required if we are to arrive at a 3%:23% population:ownership ratio.

"This is one of Israel's best trump cards, and it must not be wasted", concludes "professor" Haddad. My, my, and what a trumped up (sic) card it is!

"Freedom-lovers" censor

Well, here's an interesting entry on a blog run by a Jewish supporter of "the Middle East's only democracy". I had posted about Anne and her blog before, and frankly I am not surprised by the bigoted statements that she makes in that entry. After all, her hobby is bashing Arabs and criticising Islam (and its "worrying" trend of increasing / spreading demographics). But for the sake of entertainment, I posted a comment on her blog, only to visit the same entry a few hours later and find that comment gone. Could it be a glitch in the system I wonder? Or perhaps it's an Islamic conspiracy of takeover or something. I mean, "[j]ust think about it, there are already more Muslims in France than there are Jews in Israel. Hmm." I guess Anne thinks such statements are OK when aimed at Muslims but not OK when aimed at Jews. After all, anyone who talks about the increase in the number of Jews in Europe using such terminology and implications would be immediately labeled an anti-Semite and a neo-Nazi. Anne apparently found such a criticism (which made no mention of Nazis, by the way, so you can't really say I made baby Godwin cry this time!) too anti-Semitic true for her tastes, so she deleted it. In case my second comment disappears too and the curious among my readers would like to know what I wrote, here it is: "Tsk tsk, Anne, I thought "Israelis" and their supporters were all for freedom of speech and all that... What happened? Why did you delete my comment? Was it too critical of your racism?"

Long live "the Middle East's only democracy" and its supporters!

Edit: I believe that the photo in the previous entry will give Anne something to cheer for. As a sidenote, though, I wonder why Anne did not post this pic on her blog since she loves posting pics of Palestinian children with real TOY guns.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Yup - real guns. Meet the "poor, oppressed, acting-in-self-defense Jews"! Posted by Hello

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

A genuine mistake

A rocket hit the "Israeli" town of "Shlomi" today. The Lebanese Army dismissed it as an operational... mistake. (Just kidding)

The IDF, however, felt the need to offer its superior facts opinion: "The Lebanese government is responsible for all incidents which take place in Lebanese territory, including these attacks, which are conducted by terror organizations". At the same time, the IDF insists that the shells fired at Southern Lebanon BEFORE the attack on mistaken shelling (just kidding) of Shlomi were not the responsibility of the "Israeli" government, since the latter does not consider itself responsible for any incidents which take place in "Israeli" territory are carried out by Jews. In fact, as the "state of the Jewish people everywhere", "Israel" has the moral duty to defend them. Because, after all, if the Jewish zionist state does not protect those Jews from the bloodthirsty retaliating gentiles, who's going to do it, G-d?

The Jerusalem Post and other "Israeli" papers report (parroting information provided to them by the government of "Israel" - so much for the freedom-loving country that "Israel" allegedly is) that "
[i]t is uncertain if the two incidents are related." Yes indeed, those terrorists are the provocateurs! We must go and carpet-bomb Beirut (again)!

By the way, if the firing of the shell at Southern Lebanon were a genuine mistake, how on earth could the "Israeli" army (oh sorry, the "Israeli" "Defense" Forces - recall the phrase "those poor oppressed Jews always acting in self-defense" and the justification for mass-murder: "see, we're being forced to kill"), given that it is not INSIDE Lebanese territory (well, other than Shebaa, that is), determine so quickly that the shell "fell in an open area, causing no damage or casualties"? Sounds like they already had their facts straight and immediately scrambled to announce it... Oh wait, this could just be it. A provocation on the eve of "Israel's" celebration of "Independence Day" to show the world that after 57 years "Israelis" are still the poor victims coming under fire.

Monday, May 09, 2005

More on timing

I said in the entry below that the Hariri assassination and the recent events could be interpreted in terms of the withdrawal from Gaza. Now I'm having mixed feelings about this, because of shells fired into Lebanon (allegedly mistakenly, but we all know what "Israeli" mistakes are all about). I am not sure how to interpret this. The first is to interpret it as a genuine mistake on the part of the IDF. I think I will need to dismiss that interpretation. The second is to interpret it as a clear intimidation of Hezballah, or a test of waters at the least. The intimidation by the IDF, if successful in sucking Hezballah into action along the border, will backfire on the latter (again, due to the state of affairs in Lebanon), since "Israel" will insist that the shells were indeed fired mistakenly and Hezballah used this as a pretext to shatter the ceasefire. The third possibility is that the IDF is attempting to re-start skirmishes on the northern border to halt (temporarily or permanently) the "disengagement". Of course, this third explanation branches out into two: 1) the possibility that this is solely the doing of some elements in the IDF that sympathise with the "settlers'" cause/"plight" 2) the possibility that this was a pre-planned, "state-sponsored" action. Whatever the case, I admire Hezballah's reaction: silence and not taking the bait (at least for now).

Edit: United Press International (via Washington Times) reports that "Israeli" jets violated Lebanese air space at the same time that the shells were fired. Well, that eliminates possibility #1, although Ha'aretz, JPost, Yediot Achronot, and Arutz Sheva (different names, same shit) all report it as an "accident".


Well, I was thinking about the timing of the Hariri assassination and the "cedar revolution" that followed it, and I couldn't help but think about the possibility that the events in Lebanon have been planned and executed specifically at this moment because it also coincides with "Israeli" preparations for departure from the Gaza Strip. Increasing political tensions in Lebanon and a constant spotlight on Hezballah will ensure that in the case of 'incidents' in "Israel" and Palestine by right-wing settlers and their supporters, Hezballah would think twice about opening the northern front against "Israel" and liberating the Shebaa Farms which currently provide "Israel" with a lot of water. In fact, any such action on the part of Hezballah will most probably, through USA's proxies in Lebanon, be countered by attacks against Shi'ite targets, which would further escalate the tensions and possibly result in the outbreak of civil war, or at least a battle (and a time-out). This could also give the "Israelis" a pretext for re-invading Lebanon, and with all the warlords loose in the country, it sure as hell will give the "Israelis" something to cheer for, and the Americans something to hide behind (while they commit their war crimes in Iraq). This is Bush's message to Hezballah: A war in "Israel" and any attempts to liberate Shebaa when the opportunity arises will mean a war in Lebanon, and possibly a fall from grace of the widely-supported resistance and liberation movement Hezballah.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

On the occasion of his return

From Robert Fisk's Pity the Nation: The Abduction of Lebanon:

I had met Aoun during his 1983 battles at Soukh al-Gharb, but when I saw him again in 1989 he seemed much smaller. His shell-proof bunker used to be part of the presidential palace's underground carpark. A short man in American combat fatigues moved towards me, right hand outstretched in an artificial, slightly embarassed way. There were dark bags under his eyes. He had been directing his artillery all night. His face was white and unhealthy -- he had already been living in his bunker for six weeks -- and he had the appearance of a mole emerging from a long sleep, his eyes bloodshot and blinking. There were loyal aparatchiks everywhere, in blue suits and ties, murmuring 'Monsieur le président' in Aoun's ear. The Napoleon of Lebanon was about to speak from his underground garage.

It was part monologue, part history lesson. Aoun wanted a westernized Lebanon, 'like France, like America' [1]. He could not see why this might not appeal to the Muslims, whom he also claimed to represent. When I suggested that his 'war of liberation' against Syria would turn into a disaster, he lectured me on how not one war of liberation had ever been lost. 'History shows this,' he said with a gleam of satisfaction. 'Look at the French Marquis in the Second World War. Look at the Algerian resistance to te French, look at the Vietcong.' So what were his plans, I asked? 'Plans? What plans?' Well, plans for the war, for the future of Lebanon. Aoun was frowning now. 'I am a soldier. I want the liberation of my country.'

Yet his war was to bring the death of at least a thousand men and women. No 'liberation' was to be vouchsafed to anyone. Moreover, Aoun himself was to rule his tiny, dangerous fiefdom with growing dictatorial powers [2], prohibiting Lebanese newspapers which disagreed with his policies, banning journalists who did not write what he wanted to read, acquiescing in the public humiliation of the head of the Maronite Church in Lebanon; the old patriarch, Nasrallah Sfeir, was forced to kiss the general's portrait by dozens of jeering Aoun supporters [3]. Aoun remained silent when the homes of Lebanese MPs who opposed him were blown up with explosives. Life in east Beirut was becoming more like life in Baghdad than a 'free' Lebanon. (p. 633-34)

When Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait on 2 August, Aoun was one of the few personalities in the Arab world to remain silent. Neither condemnation nor approval issued from his bunker. But he continued to criticize America's interference in Lebanese affairs; his supporters had long ago forced the US embassy in east Beirut to close. [4] (p. 643)

1 Well, following the "opposition's" logic, he ought to have moved to USA or France right then, without even being forced to.

2 People tell me "well, that was so many years ago, maybe he's changed". But in Lebanon that's easier said than done. The country might change but the people never do. The nature of the Lebanese is a sad affair to be honest.

3 Hooligans?

4 I wonder why Mr. Aoun Monsieur le président never criticised Iraq's interference in Lebanese affairs; I wonder why he He (the God that Patriarch Sfeir should've worshipped) doesn't criticise America's interference in Lebanese affairs NOW. Perhaps because he's a hypocrite?

Friday, May 06, 2005

Opinion piece, Nov 2004

I was looking through my files, and I came across this opinion piece I had submitted to Excalibur, York University's newspaper, back in November 2004 (friendly warning: some my views on the "conflict" have since changed). The piece was not published. To add insult to injury, the Opinions Editor, self-proclaimed "leftist" Jewish "pro-Palestinian activist" Dan Freeman-Maloy, chose to ignore it instead of replying to acknowledge receipt of the article and inform me that they would not print it. I guess my article was too critical of Jews for Mr. Freeman-Maloy's tastes. I think that my argument about the "Israeli" "left" extends to the Jewish "left". Both are stillborn. The article below has been altered at a few places.

Israel: Apartheidic, Undemocratic, Unjust, and Denialist

Distressed as I am at the number of articles I have encountered in the past two months or so attempting to make truth-claims about Israeli democracy and justice and to void all comparisons with apartheid South Africa, I am glad that both sides have the opportunity to express their beliefs - something that is often not possible in Israel, at least not without grave consequences. Unless you are Jewish. Unless you are the “right kind” of Jew - politically, religiously, and racially. It is an undeniable fact that there is much discrimination in Israel, not only against Arabs, but also against non-Ashkenazi Jews. It has been established that Arab schools do not receive the proportional funding that they are entitled to. One only need look at reports condemning such intentionally designed differences in order to realise that Israel is one of the most unjust, racist, and undemocratic states in the Middle East.

I am speaking as an English-Armenian citizen of Lebanon. I am speaking as someone whose great-grandparents were given refuge by Kurds, Bedouins, Syrians, and Lebanese, during and after the Armenian Genocide that was planned and perpetrated by the Turkish government and army during WWI. I am speaking as a person who has lived in Lebanon almost all his life and not once treated differently or unequally, heard any racist statement, let alone being physically threatened. It seems a bit odd to me, given all the facts mentioned above, that Israel can be called a democratic, non-racist, even non-apartheidic state by the children or grandchildren of those who went through a similar fate as my great-grandmother. And here I am not even talking about the large number of apartheid-supporting, massacre-endorsing Israelis who have sold their conscience to bigotry. If you follow Israeli news, you must have heard of the Israeli officer who was reprimanded for having thrown his yarmulke on the ground after a soldier had said that “he would be willing to wipe an entire Palestinian village off the face of the Earth in order to save one Jewish life” (Ha’aretz, Nov. 17, 2004). Granted that the view of one person should not be taken as the view of an entire group of people, but the real issue here is not what was said, but what was done; in other words, who was reprimanded by the Israeli institution and who was not (and this would then give us an idea as to whether or not Israel is a racist state capable of adopting apartheid policies). The soldier who uttered that statement was not reprimanded. On the contrary, it seems to me that Israel encourages such statements by reprimanding those who argue against it on the grounds of morality as well as religion.

Does Israeli conscience apply only to Jewish suffering? Are we to divide the suffering of each group of people, thereby taking them out of the realm of “human suffering” and placing them into the realm of “racial suffering” or “religious suffering”? Wouldn’t this be the equivalent of neo-Nazist terms of superiority and inferiority: whether one group deserved to suffer and the other did not? Is Jewish suffering somehow more pressing and important than Palestinian suffering? Are Jews more human than Palestinians? Should Israelis be over and above any criticism no matter what they do (by virtue of their Jewish identity) - even if that is ethnic cleansing as ascertained by world opinion and various human rights organisations and in fact many Jews as well? Should we excuse the Israeli denial of the Armenian Holocaust? Would or should Armenia get away if it denies the Jewish Holocaust for “diplomatic and economic ties” with the enemies of Israel? Of course, Armenia does not deny the Jewish Holocaust. There is a level of morality that the Armenian government has adopted, one that is surprisingly (or should I say unsurprisingly, given the acts of ethnic cleansing and apartheid that Israel has been committing for the past 56 years) not adopted by Israel. To quote Shimon Peres (acting Foreign Minister of Israel at the time), “we reject attempts to create a similarity between the Holocaust and the Armenian allegations. Nothing similar to the Holocaust occurred. It is a tragedy what the Armenians went through, but not a genocide.” In other words, Mr. Peres is arguing that if it is not similar to the Holocaust, then it is not genocide. Should we see gas chambers, execution squads, deportation trains, and liquidation camps simultaneously in order to call it genocide? That seems to be a very narrow (and even Jew-centric) definition of genocide, given that almost everyone agrees that genocide is not about gas chambers, but about an attempt to wipe out an entire race or ethnicity. Statements such as the one by Peres are uttered by the Israeli government without any reserve. After all, isn’t Israel above the law, above any and all criticism? How dare we criticise Israelis, for they are supposed to have higher moral standards due to what their parents went through during WWII. However, such “higher moral standards” we are yet to see from Israel. In fact, proofs abound that the contrary is true - that Israel is an undemocratic, unjust, denialist, and apartheid state. Its constant denial of its racist policies and its massacre of Palestinian civilians is proof that something is horribly wrong.

There is something wrong with the Zionist Israeli or pro-Israeli conscience. This certainly isn’t the “Jewish state” that anyone had in mind. It has been Nazified. Jewish Palestinian (or Palestinian Jew) Uri Davis argues that Zionism has been transformed from the idea of a bi-national state with Jewish identity into an apartheid state; now this state lives off its “solutions” to the “demographic threat.” And doesn’t the latter term sound horribly similar to the “final solution”... But for Jewish Israelis and the Jewish supporters of the state of Israel, such terms are part of the daily reality and the essentials of survival for the “Jewish state” (and doesn't the idea of "living space" for Jews sound horribly similar to Hitler's "lebensraum", "living space" for Germans? Sadly, this is a reminder that moral codes and the terms that contain them are written by the victors, rather than being a product of an objective, absolutist attitude that does not differentiate between the mass murder of one ethnicity and that of another); it does not “ring a bell.” It does not make them realise that they have descended so low that many feel the need to call them the Nazis of the 21st century. A large part of the Jewish conscience has been devoured by this Nazified Zionism (but it could be argued that Zionism has always contained elements of fascism and racism). Granted that many Jews inside and outside of Israel have bravely stood up and said “not in our name,” protested in support of human rights and against the murderous regime of the Israeli government and Israeli Defense Forces, a large part of the Jewish population identifies with Israel’s actions, failing to realise that Israel’s existence is one thing, its actions are another, and in no way does the latter ensure the former - in fact, it works against it.

Yes, Israel is an apartheid state. Yes, Israel is undemocratic. Yes, Israel is unjust. Yes, Israel is denialist. No, majority and morality are not equivalent (and the Armenian and Jewish Holocausts are proof of this). Yes to peace between Palestinians and Jews. The myth of the apartheid wall being necessary for peace is a lie. Jews and Palestinians have lived together peacefully for many decades without an apartheid wall, and it is still possible. There is still a turning point; lives can be saved on both sides when a just, equal solution is implemented, and that is the one-state solution. One state for Jews and Palestinians. It is the only way to sow the seeds of tolerance. If Jews and Palestinians cannot live side by side peacefully in one country, how can they live side by side peacefully as two separate countries?

Monday, May 02, 2005

A Tale of Three Bulldozers

We already knew one of the bulldozers by name. Also known as "man of peace", Ariel Sharon is responsible for the deaths of thousands of Palestinians in Palestine as well as in Sabra & Shatila and elsewhere in Lebanon, the demolition of thousands of Palestinian homes, and the notorious apartheid wall (also known as "the security fence" in "Israeli" circles).

Less known, however, are two other bulldozers. Perhaps the lack of knowledge is due to the fact that these last two are a new model on the market: designed, approved, and marketed by the State of "Israel".

The first model has been named "Abu Mazen" (otherwise known as Mahmoud Abbas). It was decided that the name would be shortened, in an effort to minimise the troubles of the future Palestinian generations (at least 2 generations, following the Arafat legacy) who will be lucky to utter his name (since they are alive). This is the new kind of democracy (thanks to Bush's doctrine of "no elections possible under occupation"); but the Palestinian people have been reassured by "Abu Mazen" himself that his presidency would be very easy on them, à la Arafat regime.

The product ("Abu Mazen") comes with the following specifications:

• Readily bulldozes beachfront homes [of Palestinians] to prove to "Israel" that he's on the right track.
• Makes no mention of the Right of Return [of Palestinians] to prove to "Israel" that he's on the right track.
• Speaks the language of defeatism to prove to "Israel" that he's on the right track.
Fires [Palestinian] security chiefs to prove to "Israel" that he's on the right track.
Promises to do "Israel's" dirty work (arresting would-be [?] "terrorists" without warrants, destroying arms smuggling tunnels, 'mistakenly' killing children, and so on; an upgrade for the "Abu Mazen" model is to be released soon, which would also enable him to conduct assassinations [also known as "extrajudicial killings" in so-called "leftist" circles]).
• Limited warranty; the marketers disclaim any liability for special, incidental or consequential damages. In the case of defects, the marketers will replace him with a new one. No proof of election necessary for a replacement.

The second model has been named "Irineos I", and a sample of that model and make currently serves as the Patriarch of the Greek Orthodox Church. Marketers have been receiving complaints about this product as of late, but they would like to reassure new buyers and previous owners alike that there is nothing wrong with him, and that their disappointment is due to the fact that their expectations of the product were probably too high. "Irineos I" is a lot cheaper than "Abu Mazen", but also has less features:

• Sells [Palestinian] land to prove to "Israel" that he's on the right track.
• Plays games with his owners (also known as followers of the Greek Orthodox Church): "yes no yes no yes no yes no. I don't know. I didn't mean to. I wasn't told. I had to do it. I didn't know."
• "Irineos I" is not equipped with Aritificial Intelligence at the moment, and the producers have said they do not plan on introducing that to the model any time soon. He does, however, come with a pre-programmed set of phrases and statements, as stated above.
• Limited warranty; includes police protection, as is the case for all loyal servants of G-d's chosen people. Please keep in mind that the police protection feature is conditional and can vary from 90-day to 1 year warranties, depending on degree of loyalty.

The three bulldozers, "Abu Mazen", "Irineos I", and their godfather Ariel "Bulldozer, Man of Peace" Sharon have joined hands in the fight against... anti-bulldozers.

On another note, do check out this excellent summary of the current state of affairs in Lebanon by Prof. As'ad Abu Khalil.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

The irony: Denier of a Holocaust in a Holocaust Museum. Turkish PM at the Yad Vashem. Posted by Hello


I don't usually post one-liners, but I found this pretty funny, and I thought I'd share.

Hear the song & view the animation

Thanks to my friend Anathema for the link.

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Canon Camera